Always
by hungergamesg
Summary: Katniss has just arrived to 12, coming back from the Capitol. These are her experiences with Peeta and how they will grow back together. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Back to 12

I arrive back from the Capitol only to find myself alone, once again. Haymitch already left for getting drunk each night and spending most of his days unconscious. Greasy Sae comes and feeds me breakfast and dinner each day. I am so spaced between the real world that I can't even find myself to talk to her. I sit either in the living room or the kitchen mourning over Prim's death. Prim. If only she could see me now. I know she would be ashamed. I know what she would say.

_Katniss why are you throwing your life away? What about Peeta? _

But in fact, I don't even have Peeta. He arrived in 12 just a few days ago. I saw him in my yard planting primroses. I couldn't get enough courage to say thank you for all he's done. I know I can never stop owing him. I also know that the day will come when I have to face him. We are neighbors, after all. I've been thinking about him a lot recently. I can't seem to get him out of my head. Everything I think about leads back to him. The cheese buns I eat for dinner with the stew Greasy Sae made me, Peeta made those. My nightmares when I sleep. Mostly there about him. Losing him. But if they were about Prim or Cinna, I know they wouldn't be there if I was in Peeta's arms. I feel like without him in my life, I'm missing a piece. I just can't seem to shake the feeling of if I lose him there would be nothing to live for. I tell myself over and over that I have already lost him and there **is** nothing to live for. But knowing that he lives just a few yards away, keeps me here. Keeps me sane.

I glance out the window and see that the sun has set and it's getting dark out. I walk upstairs and turn on my shower. I take off my clothes carefully because I still hate the feeling of my scars rubbing against my clothes. I look closely in the mirror and see someone I don't recognize. A girl with scars, showing her bravery and courageous. But also a girl that has been broken from the inside-out. Heartbroken from the loss of her true love. Left behind by her sister and best friend. Lost behind her mother and Gale. Gale. I haven't thought about him since the day I shot Coin and accused him of killing Prim. I know he was behind the bombing but somewhere in my heart I feel that he didn't know they were using it against the rebels, our people. But then again I think of how easy it was for him to kill people. Innocent people. Like the Nut. His response was to fast to set "The Human Snare." It bothers me that he can just kill people so easily. Doesn't he know the effect stays with you forever?

I finally step out of the shower after 45 minutes of soaking up the warm water and letting it trickle down my back. I walk into my bedroom and open the window. It's a little stuffy from all the cooking going on for the past couple weeks. I walk over to my dresser to get my nightgown and quickly change my eyes in the direction of the box on the top of the dresser. The box contains the spiel from the Quarter Quell, the locket Peeta gave me, my mockingjay pin, Prim's ribbon, and the pearl. The same pearl that gave me hope and continues to give me hope. It gave me hope when Peeta was at the Capitol getting hi-jacked. It gave me hope when Peeta tried choking me in 13. It gives me hope when I continue to say that Peeta and I will grow back together. I know that there is a possibility that he will never love me or even look at me the same way again, but I am willing to try to gain his trust and eventually his love. I am willing to help him through his flashbacks, instead of running away and leaving him alone. I just wish I had the courage to tell him that I love him and always will. I just wish I could owe him back for all the things he has helped me through and all the things I have put him through. To tell him sorry over and over again.

I climb into bed thinking of all the things I want to tell him, but I know in my heart that never will. But as I fall asleep I decide that I will. Tomorrow.


	2. You saved me

**Hey guys! **

So you are are always welcome to R&R! I love to read all your reviews! Keep reading!

Chapter 2:

_"Peeta!" I scream. He's tied up on a spinning wheel. Snow is throwing knives at him and thankfully misses because he is coughing up blood. The scent of blood and roses is too much for me and I start to fall unconscious. Snow realizes this and calls me over to him. I do as he says and he hands me three throwing knives. He says if I don't kill Peeta in three trials, that he will kill me and make Peeta watch. This is my worst nightmare._

"KATNISS! Wake up Katniss!" Peeta says urgently as he shakes me trying to get me up.

"Peeta…" I say, still half asleep. I start to hyperventilate and scream.

"Katniss, it was just a nightmare. You're okay. Shh. I'm here. Shh." He says in his reassuring voice. I start to freak out and sob. I bury my head in his chest.

"H-how W-why are you here?" I say in between sobs.

"I heard you screaming, it was horrifying. I needed to make sure you were okay."

"Why, you hate me." I say.

"How can I hate you, Katniss." He says. I start to sob even more and Peeta just tries to calm me down.

"Maybe it will help if you tell me what the nightmare was about?" He says into my hair. I start to shake because the feeling of telling Peeta about my nightmare seems perplexing to me. Telling him I can't lose him and if I do I won't be able to live much longer. I can't tell him, at least not now. I tell Peeta that I will tell him later and that all I need right now is his strong arms. We fall into the bed and I lay there in Peeta's arms slowly falling asleep.

I woke up not remembering what happened last night. I suddenly remembered when I saw him next to me. His eyes opened and I just sat there staring into his beautiful, blue eyes. He then moved his legs so that we were intertwined, our foreheads pushed together. If I just leaned, just an inch, our lips would meet. As I thought about this I felt the slightest touch on my lips. I gradually came back to earth and realized Peeta had done what I was thinking. I poured all of my anger and memories into that kiss. I covered us in sheets and began to find the end of his shirt. He stopped my hand and said,

"Katniss stop. You're just scared and angry. Please, I don't want us to do it this way."

"Peeta," I began, "I want you right now, forever. I've missed you and I just didn't know how to tell you. "I began sobbing because I, again, thought about losing him.

"Katniss, I've missed you too. I thought planting those primroses would give you a hint. And the bread that I gave Greasy Sae for you to eat. I didn't want to come around because I thought it was too early to come see you. Last night, when I heard you screaming, I started to have a flashback. But after thirty minutes trying to calm myself down, I had to come and help you. It took me forever to wake you up but when I did you looked so vunrable and I couldn't leave you. Then this morning, when we started to kiss I couldn't find myself to stop. But then you reached for my shirt and I just couldn't let it happen. I wanted it so bad, but it didn't feel right, not at a time like this. I'm sorry, Katniss." He said.

"Peeta it's alright. I know, I was just mad. Please don't be upset with me." I say.

"Katniss, how can I be upset with you? You were just caught up in the momet. Your fine now."

This is exactly what I love about Peeta. He can make you feel wonderful when you just about made a huge mistake. Peeta climbs out of bed and holds out his hand for me. I take it and he leads me downstairs, to the kitchen.

"You look like you haven't eaten in days. Let me make you some breakfast. Bacon and eggs alright?" He asks. I nod my head and sit at the stool and watch him prepare breakfast for two. I hear Greasy Sae slowly turn the knob of the back door but then let it loose when she sees Peeta at the stove. I turn my head and give her the slightest smile that I can bare right now. I drastically turn my attention to Peeta and think about when I will tell him my true feelings.

"Peeta…" It barely comes out and I can't tell if I said it aloud or not, until Peeta answers me.

"Yeah Katniss?" He says.

"Thanks." I manage to get out.

"Sure thing. I'm just glad I get to see you. I haven't seen you in months. As I've said, I really missed you, Katniss." He says.

"Peeta, can I talk to you about my nightmare?"

"Sure Katniss. What is it?"

"Well you were on a spinning wheel," I start to say as I choke up, "and Snow told me I had to kill you and if I didn't he would kill me and make you watch. Then you woke me up. It was so real. I thought I was going to lose you." I finally break down and start to cry.

"Katniss, it wasn't real. It's okay. I'm right here." He says walking over to me and throwing his arms around me.

After breakfast, I led Peeta upstairs so people walking by couldn't see me crying. We lay down on the bed and Peeta kissed my forehead. I started to doze off and then I heard a slight humming sound. It was coming from Peeta. He was singing to me.

"Peeta, don't stop." I say softly. He's humming something that I remember slightly. I've heard it before. That same tune. I think I heard it when I was younger. Then it finally came to me. _The Hanging Tree. _Does he know what that song means? Obviously not, or he wouldn't be singing it to me. I start to think of my father, Prim, and I used to sing that song. I start to cry. I bury my head under the cover and hear the humming stop.

"Katniss, are you alright?" He said. I told him about how my father, Prim, and I used to sing that song, when I was younger.

"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't know." He said apologetically. I lean up and softly kiss him. He starts to kiss me more intensely, with more force. I was the one who pulled away this time. I find his hands under the covers, and lace his fingers with mine.

"I wish I could freeze this moment, right here and keep it forever." I say

"I said that to you the night before the 74th Hunger Games, real or not real? He says.

"Real." I tell him.

"Can you tell me more about our first Hunger Games? The Capitol twisted my memory of it and I don't remember anything that happened in it." He said.

I proceeded to tell him all the times with Effie keeping us on schedule, Haymitch getting drunk, Cinna and Portia dressing us for all our events, and Caesar's interviews with us and how he told Panem that he loved me.

"I really did love you…do." He said after I was done.

"I know.."

**Sorry:/ cliffhanger **

**Please R&R….Reviews are always welcome xoxo3**

**-hungergamesg**


	3. Oh God

**I'm so sorry for not updating earlier. ): I'm working on a Hunger Games "Call me maybe" song right now. I'll let you all know when it's published on YouTube, if I do publish it. I am trying hard to finish the forth chapter. I finished this one late last night so there may be confusing parts in it.**

**********contains lemons…btw**********

**Here we go….**

**Chapter 3: Oh God.**

For the past couple weeks that day has stuck in my head. I knew I just should've said _I love you too, Peeta_, but I didn't so it doesn't matter now.I want to show I love him, I just don't think that I can tell him. I tried thinking of ways but I only came up with setting up memories but I figured that would only cause flashbacks. So that's a no.

I decide on just going to the Bakery. I first started going to maybe help, but most of the time I just sit there and stare at him. I know that it's a little weird just to sit there and watch him talk, but it's what I like doing. And it seems like every day that I'm in need of one of those hot cheese buns. Yummy! I also sort of use that as my excuse.

I do my daily routine before I go to the Bakery. I brush my hair and leave it down because Peeta likes it better that way, wash my face and apply a small amount of concealer to hide the bags under my eyes, and brush my teeth because you never what could happen. As I'm walking through town to get there, I see a few people staring at me. It happens a lot when I go out. Although I don't go out a lot. It's usually just to go to the Bakery or to Peeta's house. Those places are my favorite places to be. Mostly because I'm with Peeta, but it's also because they smell amazing! And I always feel welcome there.

When I get to the Bakery I walk straight to the back. I see Peeta mixing together ingredients, when I walk up behind him and throw my arms around him. Peeta turns around and kisses me.

"What was that for?" I ask.

"Just because." He responds, innocently.

I start to get suspicious because Peeta doesn't usually kiss me "just because". I walk to the pantry and grab a handful of flour and then walk back to Peeta. I throw the flour at him and he jumps.

"HEY! What was that for?" he asks.

"Just because." I say in the same voice he used.

He glares at me and throws flour back at me. We end up getting into this **HUGE **flour fight, but then stop because we hear the customer bell. Peeta walks up to the front desk and comes back when the man leaves. When he comes back he throws his arms around me and kisses me. We kiss for a while until I finally break us apart to say,

"Peeta, we are a mess. We have to change."

"Okay, I'll take my lunch break and we'll head back to my place." He says.

"Okay."

We walk back to the Victor's Village, hand in hand. Walking with Peeta makes the time go by so much faster because before I knew it were standing in his room.

"Okay, I'll just go to the guest shower and get changed in there." I say.

"Why not in here?" He asks, confused.

"Aren't you getting changed in here?" I ask, even more confused than him.

"Well yeah, but…"

"Are you implying that we getting cleaned up together?"

"If you want to, I guess we could…"

"Do you want to?"

"Yeah..."

"Okay, then I guess were getting cleaned up together." I say.

"I guess we are" He says.

We walk into the bathroom and Peeta goes to turn on the shower. I cannot believe that I have just agreed to take a shower with Peeta! I have no idea what is going to happen in there. Well, I guess I'm about to find out.

While Peeta's getting undressed, I glance in the mirror. Wow. He is extremely… What's the word? Oh yeah, HOT! He steps in and says,

"So are you going to join me or just watch me?"

I blush and say, "Yeah, just a second."

I quickly and quietly get undressed and walk over to the shower. Oh God, what have I done? I step into the shower and Peeta's back is towards me. All I can think is, _wow nice view_. As I'm looking 'down there' he turns around and the view changes. Oh great God.

"Katniss?" He says. I can only hear the muffled version of this so it sounds like a whisper, almost

"Huh…wait, what?"

"My face is up here." He says.

This makes me blush, big-time.

"Oh, sorry" I say.

"It's fine. I just didn't expect you to look there right away." He says.

"It's kind of hard not to." Did that just come out of my mouth?

"Don't be nervous, Katniss," he says, "It's just a shower."

Yeah, it is 'just a shower', but it's a shower with one of the hottest guys on earth. It's sort of hard not to be nervous.

"It's sort of hard not to be nervous, Peeta." I say.

"Well let me relieve the tension for you." Peeta walks towards me and cups my face in his hands. He kisses me. Hard. On the lips.

Don't get me wrong it was a **good **kiss, but I got a little distracted by him poking me 'down there'.

"Peeta, let's not do anything stupid now." I say when we finally break away.

"It's not stupid were just-, "He stutters trying to find the right word, "having fun."

"Well if you put it like that…" I say.

We kiss for a long, long time and I finally say,

"Have you ever done anything like this before?"

"Once, but it wasn't this good." He says, smiling, "Have you?"

"No, but maybe you could teach me?" I ask.

"Okay, let's start by positioning your hands." He takes my hands and places them on his lower back and his neck. He puts his hands on my waist. We start kissing again and I just don't want to stop. I love the feeling when I kiss him. It's like the beach kiss, every single time. It leaves me wanting more and more of him.

"I want you" I say. He slides his hands further down my waist so that they are resting on either sides of my hips.

"Are you sure?" He asks.

"Yes."

It happened so quickly that I forgot we were in the shower. I realized it when he backed away from me. I also realized something else.

"Peeta?" I say.

"Hmm…" he replies.

"We didn't use protection…" I say.

"Oh God. Katniss, I'm sorry. It just happened so quickly. I didn't even think about it."

"Well I guess we'll just find out if we have a Peeta jr. in a few weeks." I say. As I said this, Peeta looks away from me.

"Really Peeta, its fine." I say reassuringly.

"I cannot believe myself." He mumbles, still looking down.

"Peeta, look at me." I use my two fingers to tilt his chin so he looks at me. "You're fine, don't worry about it. It's okay." I say.

"It's not okay. You've never wanted kids. And now we might have one." He says.

"You're right, I never wanted kids. But you're the exception. I want kids with the man I love."

"But that's not me. You don't love me" He says.

"That's where your wrong, Peeta. I do love you. I love you with every inch of my heart. I will do anything and everything for you. You are absolutely amazing."

"I love you too, Katniss." He says.

**Sorry another cliffhanger, I just couldn't write anymore. R&R. Review or PM about what you think should happen next and maybe you'll help me with some ideas. **

**-hungergamesg**


	4. Author's Note

**Author's note!:**

** Okay so when I uploaded chapter 3 my traffic stats seriously skyrocketed…I went from 1 hit a day to 453 hits and 245 visitors yesterday! I just gotta say that I absolutely love you guys right now! This is amazing! I'm like freaking out right now because I have no idea how to take the story from now. If you have any ideas just o head and hit that little PM button and tell me what YOU (the people) think should happen. I'm probably gonna work on chapter 4 tomorrow because it's not like I have anything better to do. Haha (: okay well its getting late..(it's like 10:55 where I live) so I guess I'll see how chapter 4 goes. Also PM about if you like the story so far, I don't really know my opinions on it yet, I'm only a young writer and this is probably not going to be my career in life, so just tell me whatcha think**

**Goodnight my angels (:**

**Hah ;)**

**-hungergamesg**


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